Pregnancy at 37+ weeks

It's about 6AM now as I am starting to write this post. Between 1AM and now I've eaten a banana, 2 bowls of cereal, eggs, greek yogurt with granola and fruit. That should be enough to get me to sleep, yet I still feel like I haven't seen food in weeks. I've slept maybe about 2 hours tonight, and I've gotten to the point where I'm wide awake, still hungry, and I don't know what to do about it. So my solution is to write an update on how awesome I've been feeling lately :) This must be god's way of preparing me for the lack of sleep that will continue over the next several months.

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I've been trying to stay active. It's the only thing that makes me feel better. I'm the only 37+ week pregnant person at the gym, and I feel like everyone is staring at me, but I can't get enough of the amazing comments that people make so I continue to go. Strangers really are awesome when you're pregnant... they say the darndest things and they have no fear or censor! Here are a few that I've experienced thus far:

"Oh honey, is that thing going to come out soon"?

"You're baby is huge! Let me tell you what happened to my (cousin/sister/friend etc.)".... proceed to some horror story of labor/ delivery

"How far along are you? Oh.... I'm sorry!"

The down side to the gym is that it makes me extra hungry! I'm grazing all day, and I'm having a difficult time finding food that will satiate me. The other difficult thing is that my feet are really starting to swell. It's tough to be active when it hurts to walk.

I'm about 37 and a half weeks now, and supposedly this is crunch time, but i'll be honest: every day feels like a year. I'm usually not one to complain publicly, especially about something as miraculous as pregnancy, but this is seriously hard! And I just want to whine. I've been also finding comfort in learning about the pregnancy symptoms/ experiences of others, because A. it makes me feel like I'm not alone on this physically challenging journey, and B. It gives me hope that my body can endure successfully through these last few weeks. So to my pregnant sisters out there, lets commiserate.

What is sleep? I forget because it feels like I haven't slept in days. Why? Because I have to pee every 10 seconds, and because I'm starving! I've gained 40 pounds so far, and it really is primarily in my belly. I don't say that to brag ("I'm all Belly!") but really, I'm starting to look about as long horizontally as I do vertically. I may tip over. The weight gain thing has been hard for me to wrap my mind around, because I've gained almost half of my original body weight, and I've been trying to maintain a healthy diet. It's uncomfortable to carry around that much extra weight, and it has been a psychological trip, because I've always been a small person. I feel selfish saying that, but it truly has been a trial for me. I'm told that this much weight gain is "normal" though, and I really am grateful that I have such a healthy girl growing in there. The doctor made a wild guess that she is already 7 lbs when I went in for my visit today. He also made the prediction that labor isn't looming in my immediate future, and that she will likely be over 8 lbs. by the time I deliver. My dad says baby weight predictions really are a big guessing game though. No one really knows for sure, so we will see.

I also discussed with my doctor my fear that the baby will get stuck on her way out during delivery (since I've heard so many horror stories from my stranger friends lately). He made me feel better with some advice and stories of other small girls he has delivered, but he thinks I may be on track for an induction at 41 weeks because I haven't shown many physical signs that my body is gearing up for labor soon. I really hope she doesn't wait that long to come out, but I trust my doctors (and my dad/mom), and I want to do what is best for her... even if it means maintaining my lifestyle as a starving zombie for the next 3+ weeks.

I'm convinced that the purpose of pregnancy brain is to help us forget about how wild of an experience pregnancy is, so that we will be more likely to do this again, and again. Otherwise I can't understand why people do this so many times. When I'm feeling like I do now, I like to look at pictures my friends'  babies as well as pictures of my nieces and nephews.

Mercer had a drowning scare a couple of weeks ago, and even though I was far away, and even though I can't even begin to imagine the way the incident made my brother and sister-in-law feel... it really put into perspective for me how fragile and wonderful babies are, as well as how sacred of a calling parenthood is. The experience made me want to hug my little niece so tight and tell her how much I love her, and at the same time it made me feel even more protective of and grateful for my own little girl growing inside me.

Labor and delivery/ the next few weeks feel like a looming cloud hanging over my head. It feels like this will never be over, and all I want is for my girl to continue to be safe and healthy (and maybe not to wait too long to get here). I know I'm not the first one in the world to feel these things, but pregnancy has allowed me to experience the most significant challenges and blessings that come along with being a woman. I am both grateful for and exhausted from this experience.

I can't wait to meet this little thing, and I pray not only that all will continue to go well, but that I will be the best mom to her. I hope she knows how loved and special she is. She is worth every minute of this wild journey.

It's a GIRL!

Even if it doesn't seem real yet, it's happening! We are having a baby girl and she is coming in October.

So far it's been a great journey. Steven and I decided when we got married that we were looking forward to starting a family sooner rather than later. By January we changed our minds and we decided we would wait to start a family until we moved to California and were more "settled". Since we hadn't gotten pregnant yet, we figured we would move forward with that plan. Shortly after that conversation mother nature did not deliver my monthly gift, and I began to wonder, "Oh geez, what if I am pregnant this time"? I took a pregnancy test a few days later, and indeed it was positive. I was not surprised, but at the same time we did have to shift our minds a little, because we had just decided that we would wait! Another reminder that the lord always has different things planned for me than I have for myself, and his plans are always far better than the ones I could have ever arranged.

I tried to keep my news to myself until we made it passed the 1st trimester, but mothers are psychics. I swear that they have a 6th sense for these things, and my mom called me around week 9 to tell me that she had a dream that I was pregnant and that I didn't tell her. I've never been a good liar, and so I shared with her the news. "I can't believe you didn't tell me!" was all I heard for weeks :)

After that my head swarmed a bit. I've never incubated a human before... and I began hearing advice from my OB/GYN father, nurse practitioner mother, my doctor, my family and friends, and the internet. At a time like this, all of these opinions were confusing. We were also trying to figure out the best insurance plan to use between my parents (which I am still on until August) and the insurance I am eligible for through my work. We ended up switching insurance carriers and doctors around week 17, but I'm glad, because I LOVE the clinic I have been going to in American Fork, UT. If anyone in Utah County is prego, Valley OB/GYN is a wonderful place to go!

Initially we were convinced that our girl was a boy. I read the wives tales, and my symptoms were consistent with those who were pregnant with boys. The perinatologist at 12 weeks also mentioned that he may have seen a teeny tiny "thing", but that he couldn't be too sure. I went home for a week over my spring break at 13 weeks. The perks of being the daughter of an OB/GYN and nurse practitioner are that your parents are up to date on the latest and greatest. There is a blood test that can be taken as early as 10 weeks now that separates a mothers DNA from the baby's DNA. In other words, if you want to know the gender of a baby as early as 10 weeks now... you can! The test also screens for many other chromosomal abnormalities. My parents wanted me to have the test done, so I went to have my blood drawn at Dr. Klein's office. Two weeks later, we got a letter in the mail to let us know that the perinatologist did not in fact find any "thing". It was official, we were having a girl! And it's going to be extra fun because two of Steven's sisters are also pregnant this year with girls, and Mercer (my niece) will only be about a year older than our daughter.

I'm now about 21 weeks. How am I feeling? I only threw up once around week 6. Since then I have waves of nausea here and there, but I have been able to work out (at least 3 times a week) and function at work and at school relatively normally (with the exception of my wonderful hormones, which make me prone to tears far more easily than before... and considering I am a bleeding Blue personality... I can't help it... I'm emotional... I have a lot of feelings). I've been particularly emotional about my thesis lately, because all I want to do is graduate and every time I think I'm done I get a new email in my box: more revisions necessary. It's feeling painful.

How do I FEEL? I feel so blessed and so excited. I started to feel her move a couple of weeks ago, and with each kick this wave of happiness comes over me that I have never experienced before. I can't wait to meet my sweet girl. I also know that life for Steven and I will change forever. Come October we won't be able to just drop everything to go to the gym or go to a movie at our own convenience. We will probably be really tired, and at times we will have no idea what we're doing. I'm terrified of giving birth... Steven was a 10 pound baby, I've already gained 14 lbs, and she has been measuring a week big. Come October, I pray all goes well at labor and delivery. I'm a small person, and I'm just not sure a 10 pound baby would fit out of me. But despite my fears, I am very excited and so is Steven. If there is one thing that I have always known with certainty, it is that I have always wanted to be a mother. I feel so blessed that heavenly father has given me this gift, and I love her so much already.

Do we have a name? Yes and no. There are names that we like, but I'm still reading baby naming books so I may change my mind. I also want to wait until she is born to share the news of her name. It was a fun announcement when I opened text messages from my brother and Christel when they had their babies to let us know their names. I also think this would be fun to do, although I've had mixed reviews from everyone else who is dying to know her name. So I say 19 weeks will fly by, and you will find out then!

Our plans from here: Steven's business has been taking off here and I have been hired to work part time for Alpine District again next year. The baby is coming in October, and so moving to California this summer (like we had planned) doesn't seem to be in the cards for us right now. In terms of when and if we will move back... time will tell, but I do know that California has my heart. I hope to move back someday, but for now I am just grateful that I have been blessed beyond measure over the last year and a half, and that my family is a plane ride and a phone call away. What we do in the future depends on a lot of things, and I will continue to pray to be guided and open minded to what the lord has in store for our family.

Here are some pictures from the pregnancy so far:

Our 1st ultrasound (9 weeks):

12 week Ultrasound

Bumpin' at 17 weeks

20 week bump

Anatomy Scan (Today... about 21 weeks)

Honeymooning & The Holidays

This post is a delayed, but nonetheless I wanted to share some pictures from our first holiday season together. We spent Thanksgiving with Steven's family down in St. George, UT and then Christmas/ Hannukkah with my family in the bay.

Over the holidays we also had the opportunity to finally go on our honeymoon. We went on a cruise to Mexico - our boat stopped in Puerto Vallerta, Cabo, and Ensenada. We decided that we liked Cabo best, but apparently we missed out on good sightseeing in Puerto Vallerta. A lot of people we spoke to preferred Puerto Vallerta to Cabo... but I guess that's what we get for not planning any excursions ahead of time. We also decided that we aren't cruise people (we caught some cabin fever), although it was nice to have food available to us at all times without dishes or worrying about our wallets.

We spent new years at a night club on the boat, thinking that was where all the fun would be, but we also missed out on a pool party with the rest of the passengers in the middle of the boat. Maybe that was the issue with our cruise: we kept missing out on all the hot spots ;) We still had a good time, but we were excited to come home to Miley and Rue.

Now we've been back for a couple of months, and we are back in the grind. Steven left insurance, in the hopes of pursuing real estate with some help from his wonderful brother Justin. We are hoping to start a family someday soon, and getting his own insurance agency started has turned out to be a slower process than we anticipated.

I'm still working on my degree in school psychology, and I'm hoping to graduate in June. I am defending my thesis at the end of February (fingers crossed that I will pass and that it'll be over for good!).

And someday we hope to move back to California, either this year or next :) Where should we go? Northern or Southern? We can't decide!

Pictures from the holidays:

MEXICO

New Years at the wrong party

THANKSGIVING

Christmukkah

Life as a Williams month 2

I've attempted blogging before, and I wasn't so great at keeping up with it... but I wanted to try it one more time, because I don't want my future children to ask me why I never made a blog for our family someday. So here's to my next try at blogging!

This has been our life so far... over the month and a half that we've been married:

The wedding was amazing... it was the craziest and best day of my entire life. I checked the weather from my phone the entire week as it said 30% chance of rain, and I prayed that it would just drizzle if anything. Well the big day came and the morning was beautiful. I was ecstatic. I looked up and thanked Jonny for his wedding present to me. Things were never so straight forward with Jonny though; he always liked to stir the pot, and so shame on me for forgetting that little detail! We arrived at the temple in Oakland, and it was starting to look gloomy. Our sealing ceremony in the temple was amazing (the most peaceful and spiritual part of the day), but it lasted much longer than expected. By the time we came out of the temple our wedding party and guests were waiting for almost an hour... IN THE POURING RAIN! I was devastated about the weather, but also feeling blessed that I just married  the man of my dreams for time and all eternity in the place I have always wanted to get married.

Fortunately the weather cleared a little bit to snap a few pictures. Even if we didn't get some of the pictures we originally planned for, they turned out perfect!

As we drove home from the Oakland Temple, we got stuck in terrible traffic, and I realized that we wouldn't have time to take pictures at the house before the reception and ring ceremony began. My hair was also sopping wet under my veil, and my fake eyelashes were peeling off down my cheeks. Even more wonderful... the weather didn't seem to be clearing up. Would we have to move everything into the house? I was feeling sad, because I was so much dreaming about and looking forward to the ring ceremony up at our pool and the reception in our back yard. I ran inside feeling exhausted (because I couldn't sleep the night before... I was too excited) and went up to my room to try to make myself look presentable before the guests arrived to the house. I am the luckiest girl, because I had the most amazing team of bridesmaids helping me get ready again. My friend Ann Sholer ironed my dress because it was completely wrinkled, and my amazing friend Jessica McKinley (the best hair stylist) fixed my hair. I was ready to go. I looked out the window... the sun was shining. It felt like a miracle. Jonny being his typical self decided to mess with me a little bit on my wedding day, but did his part to make everything beautful by bringing out the sun when we needed it the most :)

The rest of the wedding was absolutely beautiful. We have the most wonderful friends and family. It was my favorite day, and we are so grateful to the people who were there and who were there in spirit. To see all of the pictures from the wedding, go to: http://cantrellportrait.phanfare.com/6294600

After the wedding we stayed at Cavallo Point near Sausalito for a couple of days. Our friend and photographer (who also photographed my parents wedding) came to take pictures of us the day after the wedding in our formal attire. Those pictures also turned out wonderfully and can be viewed here: http://albums.phanfare.com/isolated/fnayJGh2/1/6253630#imageID=198730516

We didn't get much of a honeymoon, because we both had started new jobs, but we are going on a cruise to Mexico in December, and we are very excited to escape winter in Utah for a little bit!

In other news since the wedding we moved into our new place and are starting to feel settled. We also decided to get a couple of pets... Miley and Rue our 9 week old kittens. Rue got her name because she is little and sweet; we decided it would be fitting for her. Miley on the other hand is a little out of control. She is always on the go, and seems a little crazy. We were having trouble coming up with a name for her, and I finally said, "lets just call her Miley; she's nuts!" Steven replied, "I actually like that". and so it stuck! 

Our First Apartment

Miley and Rue 7 Weeks

In other news, Steven started a brand new job last week. He is still selling insurance and learning the ropes so that he can eventually start his own agency someday. I am working full time as a school psychologist intern for Alpine district, and trying to finish my thesis/ graduate next August. We are hoping to make it back to California either next year or the following. I miss my family and friends all the time, and wish I were better at using my phone. I can't wait to make it back for a few days over the Christmas break :) 

I am loving living as a Williams thus far (although I have yet to change my name... the day I tried the government was shut down, and the social security office closes at 3:30 every weekday... I'll get around to it sooner or later ;) I am so lucky and blessed to have found Steven, and I look forward to the memories we will continue to make as we journey through our forever together.